Building Community Wherever Life Takes You

Hello, beautiful people! Today I wanted to talk about making the most out of life, even if you’re not where you imagined you’d be 🙂 As I mentioned in my first blog post, we moved our family of six to Eastern North Carolina a couple years ago. My husband knew his boss and a few co-workers….the kids and I didn’t know a single soul! That can be a terrifying feeling for some, but I focused my efforts on making sure my kids were adjusting well.

We have moved to other towns before, but never 1,200 miles from the rest of our loved ones 😉 Friends have said ” I just don’t know how you do it…how does a mom go about meeting new friends in bran new place?” Well, thankfully, we were blessed with wonderful, caring neighbors! That can make a world of difference. Just a couple of days after we first moved in, our neighbor and her son came and introduced themselves to us. She was so easy to talk to and her son was our son’s age! They’d be going to the same school. I was exhausted from a 22 hour road trip (with way too many stops), I looked like a complete mess, and all of us were a wee bit short with each other. All it took was my sweet neighbor (and now good friend) taking the time to make us feel welcome. I immediately felt at ease (we were going to do just fine 🙂 ).

Then it was time to put some effort in! As nice as it would be, good people don’t always just show up at our door. After a few months I knew I needed to get me some mama friends. As a stay home mom I’m not around anybody else, besides kids, on a daily basis. So I started small. We happen to be very close to my favorite Starbucks in town (through no fault of my own 😉 ) So, twice a week (maybe three times?) I would treat my toddlers to their beloved cake pops while I enjoyed a deliciously smooth Grande Vanilla Flat White 🙂 Some days I would splurge and get a Venti with an extra shot of Espresso! I would enjoy small talk with the baristas and then drive around getting to know our new town. Now that I knew several of the baristas by name (let’s face it, we’re basically besties 🙂 ), I felt like I finally had some adults I could interact with on a regular basis.

It was also important to me that I find moms to have playdates with. I realize it may be difficult for introverted personalities to meet new people. I am not an introvert, but I tend to be very anxious. That being said, putting myself out there is not an easy thing to do. I knew that if I was going to develop a sense of community, I was going to need to feel uncomfortable. I had become part of our local Moms Group on Facebook, which has been so amazingly helpful! There was another mom in the group that seemed to have the same values and personality as me….I decided to message her and we went on several playdates with our littles. I wouldn’t have met such a great mom friend if I hadn’t reached out.

I met another friend at our pediatrician’s office. Our daughters hit it off and we got along great. At the last minute I awkwardly decided to give her my number in case she ever wanted to have a playdate. I’m so glad I did!! I was also blessed to have crossed paths with a mom at my son’s hip hop class. Other women are just as unsure as you are, so say hello first 🙂 It’s amazing how our children can bring us together!

I had a friend that invited me to her church several times, but I kept putting it off. I knew I wanted our family to be a part of a church here, but was overwhelmed by how many there were to choose from. Transitioning from what was, to what is, can be an emotional roller coaster. After a while I decided going to church could only help. We were immediately welcomed into her church family. We met great families, listened to the inspirational words, and watched our little ones dance to worship music like nobody was watching 🙂 It was absolutely a breath of fresh air! It may take visiting several churches, but I believe there is one out there that is just right for you~

Leaving our family and friends was hard, so I was nervous to develop meaningful friendships in our new town. We just never know what the future holds and I couldn’t bare the thought of leaving more loved ones. Thankfully, my husband is always quick to lift my spirits and help me see things more clearly when I’m in an emotional state. He reminded me that everywhere we had lived, we had met wonderful people (many that we have stayed in touch with). If circumstances hadn’t brought us to those new places, we would have never met those special people. We took a huge leap of faith moving to the East Coast, and I will be forever grateful for it. In just a short couple of years we have met so many amazing and unique people with so many different backgrounds. I have met some of the sweetest, most inspiring women here in NC. I would have never found them if we hadn’t stepped out on faith.

It’s like the old saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.” Like many of you, I’ve lost people, I’ve moved away from people or they’ve moved away from me. Friendships have fizzled out and some have lasted most of my life. I’m so grateful for the people who have been put into my life. That’s what we are here for, right? We are here to help people and love them with all we’ve got, while we still have them. None of us knows what the future holds or how long our relationships will be. But, if you have truly good people in your life, enjoy the friendship and build on it as long as you have the chance to. I believe there is a profound reason we meet the people that we do 🙂

So……say hello to the kind mama waiting for her child to get done with class, tell the mom working at the coffee shop how much you like her hair, visit a new church, join a moms group, give a sympathetic smile to the mom who has three crying children at the grocery store, and spend time getting to know your neighbors. If you don’t, you may be missing out on some of the best friends you’ll ever know!

I hope this post finds you all healthy and well! Prayers that our world will be whole again and full of kindness real soon!

Spread kindness, only kindness~

Author:

Brandy and her husband have four amazing kids that she has been blessed to stay home with. They have just moved back to the midwest after living a few years on the East Coast. She wanted this blog to be a creative outlet; one that hopefully a few people can relate to and find inspiration through. She wishes only to let others know that even though life gets crazy messy, we are all in this together! Please feel free to leave positive comments (If you don't like what you read, she gets that, but would appreciate you keeping it to yourself ;) Thanks so much!

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